Play Me Part II
by TheBlackDove4
Summary: Now that Bella has feelings for Edward, it is believed that he could like her back. Is it true or is it all an act? BxE All-Human
1. Heartache

The first Tuesday after Thanksgiving Break, which was the first day of December, I walked into drama in the worst mood ever. My date with James had been a complete disaster and, to make a long story short, I was no longer in a relationship with the dickhead. Alice was nowhere to be found. That didn't make sense to me since I had seen her earlier that morning. But she never showed up. So I guess I'd have to get into mischief on my own…

I snuck into the classroom to put my folder away. I walked straight ahead to see Edward talking to Mr. Banner at his desk. When I walked in, Edward immediately turned to look at me. At the same millisecond, I turned my eyes to the folder shelf and casually put my folder away. Then I turned my attention to the movie the tech class was watching, Alice in Wonderland. I sat down at a safe distance from where Edward was standing and kept my eyes on the screen. But from the corner of my eye, I saw Edward staring at me, his conversation with Mr. Banner officially over. For an entire minute, I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my head. Then when that painful minute was finally up, he meandered behind me. I could feel him behind me, but I couldn't see a single trace of him in either corner of my peripheral vision. That meant that he was _right behind me_. I heard a chair scrape across the floor and, sure enough, Edward pulled the chair up next to me and sat down in the same manner he had during Whose Line Is It Anyway?

"What's up?" he asked me.

"Nothin'. What's up with you?"

"The sky."

"Have you seen Alice?"

"Yeah."

"Where the hell is she?"

"She was talking to Jasper right before this class, so I know she's here."

"Well, she never showed up this period."

"Well, unless she checked out, she should be here. She's not one to skip."

"I know."

So then we both just kinda sat there and watched the movie. Edward made comments throughout, which were pretty funny. Then he turned to me again.

"So… how's that new boyfriend of yours?"

I laughed shortly and sarcastically, looking away.

"Okay, never mind."

"No," I said, turning back to him, "it's fine. We went out on a date the Thursday night before break and he tried to feel me up twice. When I said no for the second time, he got pissed and left me at Port Angeles alone. Naturally, my phone was dead, so I had to walk to Starbucks to find one. Then I had Angela pick me up."

Edward was quiet for a moment. His jaw was locked and his lips were set in a straight line. Then he spoke.

"Okay, the next time that happens, let him feel you up just a little, just to make him think he's getting somewhere. Then be like, 'Oh man, I-I- I think I ate something… oh, you need to take me home' and then never talk to him again. And if he calls you and he's like, 'Did I do something wrong?' just be like, 'Yeah, you crossed my boundaries'."

"Okay."

"So who was the guy?"

"Oh, just…"

"What's his name?"

I looked at him skeptically for a moment. "I'm not gonna tell you that."

"Why not?"

"Are you gonna track him down and kill him?"

"Well, not _kill_ him… just give me his name."

"No. No way."

"Just give me his first name."

"James."

"What's the first letter of his last name?"

"M."

"Okay, just tell me."

"No, you'll do something."

"I don't wanna _murder_ him; I just wanna hurt him really bad. Besides, I don't wanna go to prison for voluntary manslaughter. And it won't be self-defense; it'll be full-out manslaughter."

I smiled and shook my head, turning my face back to the movie. Then the bell rang. We both walked out together into the rare sunlight and headed for our next class. We were walking neck in neck wordlessly. And then…

"These shoes are so fucking comfortable."

I turned and looked down at his shoes. Nikes.

"Where'd you get them?"

"Nike. I got 'em for $20 with a 30% discount."

"Do you shop there a lot?"

"I work there. I've gotten, like, nineteen pairs of shoes in the last two weeks."

"I've always liked Nike."

"Well, start coming around and I'll get you a discount."

Then we got to the hallway intersection.

"See ya."

"See ya."

I watched as he turned left down the hallway. I walked leisurely about ten feet down my route, and then I turned around like I had forgotten something. I turned down Edward's hallway and kept to the wall on the opposite side of the lockers. I peered over the heads of about 20 people to see the back of Edward's head. He was standing at a locker. Behind him, I could see the outline of Tanya Denali. Ah… that made sense. It completely explained his spontaneous route change.

After seeing what I wanted to see, I turned back around like had forgotten something and headed to my next class.

Two days later, Alice and I sat in the House in front of Embry, who was boasting about his fantastic acting. I gave Alice a glance and she turned back to Embry.

"So," she began, "what did you say to Tanya at Homecoming that made her so upset and got Edward's boxers in a bunch?"

"Oh," he said, rolling his eyes. "She came up to me and a few other people asking where Edward was. I was like, 'Oh, he's probably smoking weed like did during the play' and she said that he didn't… and I said that he did… and then she burst into tears… and then that Lauren chick threatened my life…"

Alice and I glanced at each other and wordlessly got up to go to the classroom. Edward was nowhere to be found. It was five minutes until the bell was to ring, so we made a run for lobby, knowing that that was where he was. As we approached the double doors, I looked out the door window and saw through it and the next Edward coming toward us.

"Hold up," I said casually. We slowed our paces drastically as Edward came through both sets of double doors. But he wasn't alone. He had with him a brunette. I didn't know who she was. She wasn't gorgeous, but she wasn't _very_ unfortunate-looking. They seemed rushed as well. Edward came through the doors and looked at me as he walked by.

"Did the bell ring?"

"Not yet, but it's about to… is there anyone else back there?"

Edward shook his head no and kept walking. My heart sank. Those two had been back there _alone_?! I looked at Alice. She just shook her head in exasperation.

"Who the hell is _she_?!"

"Absolutely nothing." She sounded resentful. "But you know what's funny?" She stood with her arms crossed as she watched the girl walk out the door when the bell finally _did_ ring.

"What?"

"That's Jasper's new girlfriend."

I whipped my head around to look at her. She wore a mock smirk on her face. We headed out the door and took the left so that I could walk Alice to her next class. Edward had already started walking ahead. Then, as we walked down the stairs, I glanced discreetly back to Edward who I caught doing the same. Then he jumped over the railing of the other stairs and walked left. He walked several feet ahead and to the right of us.

"Hey, Edward!" Alice called. My heart jumped into my throat; I didn't expect her to do that. Edward looked back.

"What?"

"Walk with us."

He slowed down for us to catch up and I proceeded to tell him what we learned from Embry about Homecoming. When I finished, Edward seemed edgy.

"I see…"

"But… you didn't… did you?"

"What?"

"Smoke weed."

"Bella, I've only smoked weed twice in my life and both times were a long time ago. I don't do that shit."

I nodded, hiding my relief. But I had other things to think about. I was pretty fucking confident that he wasn't doing anything with Jasper's new girl. So I wasn't really sure what was bothering me…


	2. The Perfect BagSwinging Opportunity

Thank God it's Friday. I was sitting in the classroom with Alice at one of the tables. I sat at one side of the table and Alice sat in front of me on the other. We both had our journals whipped out and were righting like crazy. A familiar smell of cologne distracted me for a moment, though I had so much to say. But then I froze completely and found myself at a loss for words when Edward Cullen appeared in the chair next to me. I could hardly move and our elbows were touching. I stared at Alice, who looked thoroughly amused by the whole situation.

Edward had a bagged lunch with him. I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see him picking through it. He came across a Nutri-Grain bar and offered it to me first. I shook my head, so he offered it to Alice.

"_You_ want it?"

Alice looked at me, like she expected me to change my mind.

"C'mon, Alice," I encouraged, "you eat shit like that."

And she took it, eyeing me. Then we all just kinda sat there and talked until Miss Kay called for the acting class to come into her office one by one and show her that we had written our monologues down in our folders. Alice got up first. Edward looked up at her.

"Don't leave," he said.

Alice sat down. Then I stood up to leave and Edward looked up at me.

"What? You're gonna leave me here?" he asked defensively.

I sat down.

"You guys wanna go to the lobby?" he asked after a few minutes.

We followed him into the lobby where a bunch of drama kids already loitered. Once we got in there and sat down in a corner by the honor plaques, everyone eventually left… except this weird girl named Rosalie who I had known since grade school. She came up and sat down next to me silently and began listening to our conversation. Shockingly, she seemed to fit right in and we actually ended up enjoying her company. Then we started talking about Jasper and James as Alice opened her journal and began writing.

"You know," Edward said after observing her. "girls _need_ journals. They need somewhere to write 'Jasper pissed me off' or 'my boyfriend felt me up twice and then got angry when I said no and left me wherever I was'."

We all blinked, surprised by his sudden mini-rant.

"_What_?" Rosalie asked, thoroughly confused.

"Bella's boyfriend-"

"_Ex_-boyfriend," I corrected.

"-tried to feel her up in Port Angeles and she told him no. After the second time, she said no again and he got pissed off and left her in some parking lot half a mile from Starbucks."

"My God, it's like you were there…" I whispered.

"Gosh, what a _jerk_!" Rosalie said.

"Tell me about it… I'm gonna get my phone real quick."

We watched as Edward left and then started up a conversation after the double doors shut.

"Okay," I began, "what the hell?"

"I don't know," Alice said. "Maybe we're about to find out."

"I wish I knew what was going on…" Rosalie muttered.

We sat in silence until Edward came back. He seemed angry. Correction: he _was_ angry.

"Well," he began, "I just ran into Embry. I told him, 'Thanks for telling my girlfriend I smoke weed'. You know, I confronted Tanya about it last night on the phone and she was like, 'And now you can trust me' and I was like, 'No'."

Alice closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Okay, wait a minute. So you don't trust her?"

"Nope. At least, not with that Paul freshman anyway."

I looked over at Alice, who was eyeing me intently. This was bad. _Very_ bad. All I wanted was for him to be happy. But I didn't believe that he could possibly be happy in a relationship in which he couldn't trust his girlfriend. You can't have love without trust. And their relationship couldn't go anywhere without either.

"Who the hell is Paul?" Rosalie asked.

"Tanya's ex. They used to go out, but then they broke up. Now he hates it that she's with me and doesn't even wanna be friends with her anymore because of it. And she kissed him in front of me at Homecoming."

"Bitch…" I muttered to myself.

"If you ask me, Homecoming sucked balls," Alice said.

"I know," Edward agreed. "It was hot and stuffy."

"I didn't think it was that bad," I said.

"Have _you_ ever passed out from overheating?" Alice asked.

"No, but I've passed out from a woman's stupidity."

"Care to explain?" all three of them asked simultaneously.

"Okay," I began, "it was the day after we got out of school for the summer and we were in a Wal-Mart in Florida. I pissed my brother off and he deliberately stomped on my foot with his big-ass sneakers. I was wearing flip-flops." Everyone flinched. "So my toenail split vertically and across so that an entire fourth of it was separated from the rest and I was bleeding pretty fucking bad. So Renee helped me hop to the women's restroom. I was fine; it didn't even hurt really. I leaned up against the wall while Renee was crouched down, cleaning off my toe. Then some old lady came in, took one look at my toe, and said, 'Honey, you need to got to the doctor and have them pop that thing off' and I dropped. I woke up on the floor of the women's restroom in the Wal-Mart with, like, six women looking down at me like it was the most normal thing to see a girl passed out cold on the floor of a public restroom."

Edward, Alice, and Rosalie all burst into laughter. So I continued.

"And the best part was that, when I woke up, Renee peeled me off the floor, looked up at everyone, and said, 'She's okay… just a little hung over…' It was epic. It made for a good story to tell the Webers when we got back."

"I can picture you flat on your back in the women's restroom!" Alice giggled.

"Then you shoulda been there."

"Oh, shit…" Edward said, looking at his phone.

"What?" I asked.

"We've got, like two minutes until the bell rings."

We all got up and headed back toward the classroom. I went ahead first, then Edward followed me, and Rosalie and Alice toiled behind him. I heard Edward mutter something in a low voice. I tried to listen to hear more, but instead, I felt something brush my arm. I looked back to see Edward swinging his lunch bag around. He smiled at me.

Sorry, it was, like, the perfect bag-swinging opportunity."

I gave him a strange look and then kept walking. A few seconds later, I felt it again and I turned back around. He smiled at me again.

"See what I mean? The perfect bag-swinging opportunity."

I shook my head, smiled, and kept walking. After the bell rang, Edward and I walked and talked until he took his left down the hallway that would take him to Tanya.

I walked into the lunchroom and sat down next to Alice. I decided that I wouldn't be eating today. When she saw me, she started jumping up and down in her chair.

"_What_ is your childhood trauma?" I asked her irritably.

"There's something you need to know about that thing with Edward earlier today."

"What the fuck are you talking about? He said a lot of interesting things in the lobby-"

"No, Bella. I mean when we were _leaving_ the lobby. When he was swinging that bag, he was aiming for your ass."

"What?"

"When he followed you out, he whispered to me, 'Watch this' and then he aimed for your backside. He missed and immediately tried again, but then he hit your arm. Then he tried _again_ and missed _again_, hitting your arm."

"Wow…"

"I know."

"I thought he had _good_ aim…"

"That's beside the point. The point is that he was going for your _ass_, Bella! What guy goes for his best friend's ass without having _some_ sort of feelings for her?"

"Edward."

Alice closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Bella, no. You can't do this anymore. I think it's time to look into the possibility that Edward likes you."

"Alice…"

"Yes?"

"Enough. Get help."

She rolled her eyes. "No, _you_ need help. How the _hell_ can you not see it?"

"It's easy. Trust me."


	3. Cry

My heart hurts. I know I sound dumb and dramatic and cliché, but now I understand why people say it. Because it's the only way to describe this feeling. My heart… just… hurts. I just wish I could understand what's going on. Why is Edward acting this way? I just don't understand. My emotions are in the way of me figuring this out. I can't think this over and crack this case when I'm too emotionally involved in the facts of this investigation. I am confused and frustrated from being jerked around by the guy that I liked.

I trusted Alice when she said that Edward might like me, but my self-confidence was so low, I couldn't bring myself to have any faith in it. How could Edward like me? And if he did, why couldn't he just say it? Why play games and confuse the fuck out of me? I knew that he could just be playing mind games with me, but why would any guy take a mind game as far as he has? What happened at La Push… it couldn't have been a mind game. It was too much of a leap for him. No one, no one would take it that far just to play a mind game. There was just no way. But the thoughts still swirled in my head. And it was driving me crazy.

I walked into the drama building to find everyone gathering in the classroom to watch Up. I rolled my eyes and went up to Alice.

"I have an idea," she said.

"What?"

"We'll set up our four chairs and you and I will sit in the middle two. When Edward comes in, we'll see who he sits next to."

I suddenly felt that glimmer of hope that something good was in the near future.

"You're a fucking genius."

"I know," she beamed.

We waited for everyone to show up. Edward walked in and my heart skipped a beat. I turned away and sat down, as did Alice. We waited patiently for Edward to make the next move and, by God, did he make it… by planting his happy ass in the seat next to Alice. My heart dropped a thousand feet and I turned to Rosalie, who pulled the chair next to me around to turn our line into a circle. The whole time, he flirted with _Alice_ and poked _Alice_ and talked to_ Alice_. A couple of times, he flirted and poked Rosalie, but he only poked me once.

This destroyed me even further. I couldn't even look at him, I was so hurt. I let myself down by submitting myself to this… _lie_. If Edward liked me or had any feelings for me that stretched any further than friendship, he was _really_ good at hiding it. All of the signs and mysteries combined with my overpowering confusion and emotions weighed down on me like a 2-ton burden. I discreetly bent over in my seat with my head in my hands and strained my fingers in frustration, hoping that I would go unnoticed. No such luck. Whatever form of discretion I tried to use, it didn't get past Edward.

"Look, Bella's freakin' out."

I sat up and put on my most convincing act. "What? No, I'm not."

"You looked like you were trying to rip your hair out."

"Well, I wasn't. I'm fine."

Edward just shrugged and got up to talk to Mr. Banner, who was seated at his desk right behind us. Since his back was to me, I knew Edward wouldn't see me if I got up and left. So I did. I snuck out of the classroom and jogged to the restroom to pity myself. I sat against the wall for a few minutes, trying to calm down and not feel so much like shit. After the acceptable time for being in the bathroom, I got up, composed myself, and went through the double doors toward the classroom. I turned around before the doors shut and stopped them from slamming. And when I turned around, I saw the shadow of someone getting ready to come down the hall. Before I had time to react, Edward came down the hallway and looked right at me.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked.

"Nothing's wrong," I told him convincingly. That was bullshit. But my bullshit was so legit, I almost believed myself.

"Then why did you run away?"

"I didn't. I just went to the bathroom. I'm fine."

Alice and Rosalie appeared behind him.

"I need water," Rosalie announced.

"And I have to pee," Alice informed me, as if they needed an excuse for imposing on my discussion with Edward, which had, truthfully, already ended.

"Then pee," I said. Then the girls disappeared down the hall as Edward and I went back to the classroom. We sat in silence and didn't speak. But throughout the rest of the class, I had this heart-wrenching feeling that he truly didn't like me. I felt like I had gotten my answer. But, truthfully, in the back of my mind, I didn't feel right about it.

When I got home, Charlie and Renee were both gone and Ben wouldn't be home from school for an hour. I threw my stuff down on the floor, turned up the volume on my iPod to an angry song, and started bawling my fucking eyes out. I sobbed good and hard, not bothering to muffle it or keep quiet; no one could hear me. I sobbed and cried and sobbed until my phone started vibrating in my back pocket. It was Alice. I immediately put on my happy voice.

"Hello?"

"Bella, look, I imagine you're probably bawling your eyes out right now, but you need to understand something…"

I figured she had called to mourn with me or offer her sympathy, but little did I know what happened behind closed doors after I left the classroom today…

_Edward turned around to see that Bella wasn't there. He meandered back to his seat next to Alice._

_ "Where'd Bella go?" he asked._

_ "I don't know," Alice said, "she just kinda got up and… left. I'll go find her."_

_ "No," Edward intervened, grabbing Alice's arm and pulling back down into her chair, "sit down. I'll giver her her time and then _I'll_ go talk to her."_

_ After waiting a couple of minutes, Edward got up to find Bella. Rosalie wanted to tag along, but Alice stopped her._

_ "Rosalie, I think you should let them talk…"_

_ "No! I wanna see if she yells at him!"_

_ And Rosalie began to follow after Edward. Alice sighed and followed too, hoping to keep Rosalie from ruining everything. When they caught up to him, he was standing in front of Bella, who looked as if nothing had happened._


	4. First Embrace

I hung up the phone, shocked as hell. I couldn't believe that he had actually cared enough to _give me my time_ before he _came to talk to me_. The whole idea was just too overwhelming for my fragile state of mental and emotional health. I was teetering off the edge of this enormous cliff. One discouraging signal from Edward would send me barreling down. And for some reason, I really wanted his phone number. It bothered me that I didn't have it. So I waited impatiently for Renee to get home so that I could snatch her cell phone. When she came home, I did just that. I went to her received calls and scrolled down to the date and time that coincided with that night at La Push: October 3, approximately 9:30. I had found it. I immediately put the number in my contact list and put Renee's phone back.

The next day, the girls and I sat in the lobby. We were supposed to be practicing our monologues, but naturally, we didn't. Eventually, Edward came out there with us and we began to talk… until Alice took a risk.

"Edward, what's your phone number?"

He gave her his number, and then Rosalie asked for it. He gave it to her, too. After he had said it four times to the both of them, I figured it was safe enough to text him. I could easily just say that I had memorized it from hearing it four times. I opened my phone and went to his number. I sent him an anonymous text: _"where's YOUR monologue? :)"_

I watched as Edward opened his phone and read the text, a confused expression appearing on his face. I fought the urge to laugh. He looked at Alice.

"Did you send this?"

Alice looked equally confused. "What? No, I didn't send you anything."

Edward didn't even bother looking to Rosalie. I kept a straight face, but it didn't get past him.

"It was _you_!"

My face immediately broke into a smile and I looked down at my phone, where I had an unread text. "_up ur ass"_

"Nice," I responded, looking up at him, "by far, the sweetest text I've ever received."

"How do you spell your name?"

I looked up. "Are you talking to _me_?"

He nodded, looking down at his phone.

I rolled my eyes. "You know how to spell 'Bella'."

"Yeah, I know."

At last, it was Friday once again. We all ended up in the lobby with Rosalie and doughnut holes, talking about random stuff. Alice was sitting against the back wall, Edward was next to her, and Rosalie next to him. I sat across from Edward in the circle, lying on my stomach. Edward decided it would be smart to challenge Rosalie to a Chubby Bunny competition, so I snapped pictures of Edward with four doughnut holes in his mouth at one time, saying "Chubby Bunny." Rosalie had only gotten one before she started gagging. After swallowing, Edward stared at me intently. I didn't look at him; I wanted to see how long he'd stare, so I focused on Alice, who was bitching about Jasper. It wasn't long before Edward finally said something, still eyeing me.

"Bella, you need to kiss the clasp on your necklace and put it back behind your neck."

I looked down at my necklace, seeing the clasp that was against the charm. I kissed it and did as Edward had instructed. I looked back up to see him watching me. He immediately looked away and started to take of his sneakers. Alice, Rosalie, and I all looked at each other in confusion. He got up and started walking around. I stayed turned to Alice and Rosalie. I didn't acknowledge Edward at all. Even shoeless, I could hear him coming up behind me as I laid there on my stomach. And sure enough, I felt one of his feet on my backside. I ignored it and kept paying attention to Alice and Rosalie. His foot remained there until he took the other and stepped on and over me. After he did that, he went back to where he was strutting around, undoubtedly impressing himself.

My legs were open as I was lying there, which I figured was dangerous with Edward doing God knows what behind me. So I closed them.

"Hey!" Edward said. "Open your legs back up!"

I turned back to him. He looked like he was gonna take a running leap over me. _Perfect_…

"What?!"

"I need you to open your legs again."

I glanced over at the roaming students who had wandered into the lobby. They were frozen where they stood. They looked petrified. I could imagine how bad this must look. A sophomore girl lying on her stomach in the middle of the floor with a junior guy standing fifteen feet away from her in the track position. They turned and ran away. I pouted, put my head down, and opened my legs. I felt the rush of air from him jumping over me. I looked up in relief to see Rosalie and Alice staring at me like I was nuts.

Edward got up again, but this time, Rosalie and I got up too. Alice stayed where she was, working on an essay. I watched as Edward jumped around childishly. Eric Yorkie came in and started annoying us. Edward took it into his own hands. Before any of us knew what was happening, he was literally throwing Eric across the room. He picked him up and body slammed him onto the box office. Rosalie stood stunned, our eyes as wide as Texas. Alice sat in her spot against the wall, watching with a shocked look on her face. When I turned back around, Edward had thrown Eric over his shoulder and was carrying him like that by his ankles. A pen fell out of Eric's pocket. I looked back at Alice, whose pen had fallen out of her hand by her shock.

"Please, please let me down!" Eric screamed like a little girl.

Edward smirked and dropped him and sat down on the box office. Eric crumpled to the floor like a dead corpse. He scrambled to his feet and looked around frantically.

"Where's my pen?!"

"Oh, no," Edward exclaimed in monotone, "I was just thrown around and almost kissed a guy's ass, but God forbid I lose my pen!"

Rosalie and I giggled. Alice rolled her eyes and continued writing again. Eric put his pen back in his pocket. Edward got up and moved toward Eric again, who backed away.

"You wanna see something cool?" he asked him.

Eric's eyes widened with fear. "No." And he ran away. We all burst into laughter, even Alice. Edward turned around and grabbed Rosalie into a… hug? I'm sure that was his intention, but Rosalie flailed her arms in the contraption of Edward's arms. I felt a pang of jealousy, but it helped that Rosalie was "fighting" him like a retard. He let go of Rosalie and walked toward me, opening his arms. I felt the fluttering in my heart. _This is it_, I thought. _This is going to be the fourth hug…_ And then it came. He wrapped his arms around me, forcing both of my arms under his. It was less of a hug and more of an… embrace. It was in his arms for a little longer than usual, and he was holding me tightly. It was the best hug I've gotten from him yet. It gave me a sense of protection and safety. I fought the urge to close my eyes. But I didn't stop myself from inhaling. He smelled _so_ good…

The following Monday, at the end of drama, I walked into the classroom to find Edward talking to Mr. Banner again. But the moment he saw me, he walked away from him and towards me. I smiled at him.

"What are you all pissed off and smiley about?"

"What are you talking about? I'm not pissed off."

"Yeah, you come in here looking all pissed off, and then you give me a fake smile."

"I am _not_ pissed. And what makes you think that that was a fake smile?"

But he didn't answer me. I knew that I had inherited "the look" from Charlie. For some reason, no matter what, we seemed to _always_ look pissed. I had inherited it from Charlie and Charlie had inherited it from _his_ father. If anyone had ever seen my Grandpa Swan watch TV, they would assume that he was trying to kill it with his eyes, he looked so mad. But he never was. Neither was Charlie and neither was I.

"Hey, you know what?" he said suddenly.

"What?"

"I almost got busted yesterday for going to Tanya's house instead of going straight home after work."

"How'd you get outta that one?"

"When Carlisle asked me why there were so many miles on the Volvo, I told him that I had gone from church, to my house to change clothes, and _then_ to work."

"Smart man."

Then the acting class began to pile in during the last couple of minutes. Alice and Rosalie approached us. Rosalie pushed Alice right into Edward, but he just pulled her into a one-armed hug. Then he gave Rosalie the same. I was a few feet away, but he still held his arm out for me. I smiled and slid over to him, submitting myself to his one-armed hug. Then it was like all my troubles melted away and I felt like I had been lifted out of the chains of hell. No, I didn't feel shitty _before_ he hugged me, but that was the level on which the impact was. It no longer felt like a Monday.


	5. The Clasp of My Bra

We were all sitting in the lobby once again. But this time, we weren't alone. We had Eric, Angela, Embry, Jessica, and several other people with us. I was studying my monologue and copying it down countless times in my folder. I was sitting in a chair on one side of our enormous circle and Edward was in a chair directly across from me on the other side. Everyone else was sitting in the floor around us. I was barely acknowledging the discussion around me until I heard something pertaining to me.

"Are sophomores allowed to go to Homecoming?" Rosalie asked.

I looked up with my eyes only. I was getting nervous about where this was heading… and with good reason.

"Everyone can go to Homecoming," Embry told her.

"_She_ was there!" I heard Edward say. I looked at him. He was pointing at me. "We grinded with _her_!"

Surprisingly, I didn't blush when everyone in the room got quiet and began to stare at me. Rosalie and Alice's eyes widened. I kept my eyes on Edward's, no emotion on my face… except for the slightest glare in my eye that I trusted he wouldn't miss. He glanced around at everyone before speaking again.

"Well," he told them, "it was more like she grinded with herself and we grinded in a circle around her."

I heard Alice moan quietly and Rosalie stifle laughter at Edward's poor attempt at saving me, though the way he executed his cover-up was very convincing. However, there were a few people in that room that I _knew_ didn't buy it. I rolled my eyes and got out of the chair. I laid down in the floor, on my stomach like last Friday. I laid my head down, closed my eyes, and all the extra people in the room began to disappear, leaving me with just Edward, Alice, and Rosalie.

"You know," Alice began, "I've been meaning to ask you something, Edward. I figured you'd know a thing or two about this…"

"What?"

"How do you guys unhook a girl's bra without taking off her clothes first?"

I heard Edward get up out of his chair. My eyes flew open. I lifted my head up just in time for Edward to straddle me and grab the clasp of my bra through my polo.

"What are you doing?!" I panicked. "Don't do it! Don't do it!"

"Chill out," Edward said, "I'm not gonna undo your bra, I promise."

So I just laid there while Edward demonstrated how to unclasp a girl's bra while her clothes were still on.

After Edward casually left for the bathroom, I decided that that was my cue to disappear. Alice and Rosalie followed me out to the House, where I collected my things. I went back to the lobby to find Edward standing there with a cute little couple. He looked slightly uncomfortable. I went through the double doors leading to the classroom and he followed me. Before I even made it halfway, I heard this massive, loud, painful-sounding smack. It sounded very impressive… but then I noticed the searing pain on my backside and I whipped around to face Edward. He was laughing his head off.

"What the fuck was that?!" I asked, grabbing my ass.

"My jacket."

"That _hurt_!"

Then when I turned back around, he did it again. I had to run to the folder shelf to keep him from doing it again. So then I walked over to Rosalie, Alice, and pretty much everyone else that had been in the lobby, who were all standing around a stool. I planted myself in a large gap in the circle, leaving enough room for another person. The next thing I knew, Edward pushing his way through the crowd and appeared… _behind_ me. There was plenty of room, but he didn't leave much space between us. The whole right-front side of him was up again the back-left side of me. And it wasn't just touching; it was _pressed_. He was pressing himself into me with minimal force, but I could feel it without a doubt. I knew he wasn't trying to get me to move over; I had left space on my other side for another person. And, knowing Edward, if he wanted me to move over, he would have no problem just telling me to move. We just stood there, trying to be discreet, when Edward looked at Alice, who was directly across from us.

"I whipped her," he said, nodding his head towards me.

"You _what_?" Alice asked in surprise, looking at me.

"I whipped her."

Then he nudged me playfully and I nudged him back. We nudged each other back and forth a couple of times until the bell rang and we left for our next classes. As we walked out, I glanced at Alice, who was staring back at me. I could tell she was in a state of shock by everything that was happening with Edward; so was I. But it just made our investigation all the more interesting.

The next day, it was time to take our midterms. The entire acting class was sitting in the first two rows of the House, watching everyone take turns reciting their monologues. Some of them were really funny and others made you cry. Some made you downright uncomfortable and others were just bad. After each performer, we had to wait for Miss Kay to get done evaluating and making notes before the next person could go. After about three minutes of waiting, I turned around to see if Miss Kay was anywhere close to being done, as if I could see anything from where I was. But there was one thing I _did_ see. Sitting in the chair next to Miss Kay. Edward Cullen. And like the popping of a soap bubble, my lines were gone. I couldn't remember a damn word of my monologue. I nervously tapped Alice, who was next to me.

"I can't remember a thing. My lines are gone."

"That's ridiculous! You _never_ forget your lines."

I glanced at her, breathing heavily.

"Are you _nervous_?!"

I nodded.

"Why?! Oh- oh no… please don't tell me… is Edward back there?!"

"Okay… don't panic. Just don't look at him."

"Alice, it's not looking at him that's the issue. It's _not_ looking at him and knowing that he's back there looking at _me_ that is!"

"You're gonna be fine-"

"I'm not gonna be able to do my monologue with him sitting back there."

"Pretend he's not."

I whimpered and turned back to the performer. I was scared to death. I almost never got stage fright, but with Edward there… I couldn't breathe. My heart was pounding, the butterflies were murder, and my blood was boiling. Not to mention that I was getting insanely hot. During Embry's monologue, I looked back to find Edward gone. I was relieved, yet disappointed. Then, as soon as Embry said 'Thank you', Edward walked back through the door and my nerves were shot.

Miss Kay then called Alice to do her monologue and told Rosalie that she would be going next. And then she told me that I was going after her. I looked back warily to see Edward… silently cheering for me. I returned the gesture and, when it was my turn, I got onstage. While I waited for Miss Kay to finish evaluating Rosalie, I stared out into the House. I didn't look at Alice or Rosalie; I took a chance and stared at Edward, who was looking back at me. He was giving me hand signals of encouragement that I couldn't really distinguish because of the glare of the stage lights. But I smiled, knowing he was supporting me.

After I gave a near-flawless performance, Edward left and Miss Kay gave a lecture. When she finally set us free, we all went back to the classroom. Edward was talking with Mr. Banner, but when he stopped, he came up behind us, grabbed Rosalie, and squeezed the life out of her. I got a hair jealous, but Edward wouldn't have that. He let go of her and put his arm around me, pulling me into another one-armed hug. Our sixth hug. I savored the moment, feeling his jawline against my temple. It felt so right.

It was the final Thursday before Christmas Break. I didn't have drama today, so I looked like total shit. But I didn't care. There was no one else that I was trying to impress… little did I know…

I walked from the lunchroom after the first bell rang, going straight to my fourth period class. I was walking down the hall that Edward takes on our way to fourth. There was a traffic jam at the hallway intersection, causing everyone to stop. I stood there in my sweatshirt with no makeup on and my hair in a ponytail, waiting for the slow people to move. Then, all of a sudden, I felt a hand grab my waist and quickly pull away. I whipped around to see Edward standing there like he didn't do it and Tanya looking away from both of us, talking to Edward about something I didn't pick up on. Little did she know that her boyfriend was listening to a word she was saying…

But when she did turn around, I was still gaping at what Edward had just done with his girlfriend standing _right there_. Tanya went silent and looked at both of us. It was extremely awkward, so I tried to break the ice.

"Hey, you guys!" I exclaimed cheerfully.

"Hey…" Tanya said in monotone as Edward continued to just stand there and look straight ahead as if he had done nothing. As soon as the crowd began to move again, I made a quick get-away for my fourth period class, not daring to look back.


	6. Leather Jacket Tells No Lies

It had been one hell of a long Christmas Break without getting to see Edward. I had filled Charlie and Renee in on everything that had happened with Edward throughout the entire first semester of school. Charlie was thoroughly convinced that Edward liked me. And it was almost like he was _encouraging_ the idea of me dating him. It was crazy, especially since Renee seemed skeptical about the whole thing.

It was fucking freezing outside. We were five days into the New Year, but only one into the new semester. The first day back was cold and unwanted. I was in my new black leather jacket, which didn't help an ounce against the cold. The entire jacket was cold inside and out. Alice and I were in the bathroom talking about how tired we were and how she thought I looked hot. When we walked out, we were just in time to see Edward leave the guys' bathroom and hug Rosalie. It was one of those quick, two-second 'hello' hugs. As we walked by, Edward grabbed Alice and gave her the exact same treatment. I stood by the door, waiting. Then when he let her go, he looked at me.

"Come here," he said and opened his arms. I smiled and submitted myself once again into his arms, which he wrapped around me gently, holding tight. I laid my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes for a moment. He held me for five seconds, more than twice as long as the others. Then he said something that struck me as odd…

"I'm freezing, you're warm…"

"Are you kidding? I've probably got hypothermia," I said as we broke apart.

I followed the girls through the door, but I stopped as Edward said in a low voice, "I'll be there in a little while."

I turned to look at him. "Okay, cool." And I smiled before going into the House. I knew that he wouldn't be coming back. Mr. Banner wasn't here and the tech class had a substitute that had expressed his dislike for Edward's absence from the classroom on previous occasions. I didn't have any expectations of hopes for his return. And when I sat down next to Rosalie and Alice, I was fit to be tied.

"Okay, Alice, did you see that?!"

"Yes! He held onto you forever!"

"But that wasn't all! Remember when he said that he was freezing and I was warm?"

"Yes…"

"Look at what I'm wearing Alice! A fucking leather jacket! This thing isn't warm. It was still cold to the touch from being outside when he hugged me."

"You think he was stalling?"

"More like giving a reason for holding on."

"I think you may be on to something…"

Our suspicions were increased even more on Thursday after drama class when Rosalie, Alice, and I went back to the classroom. Alice sat down in a chair across from where Rosalie and I were standing. Edward was working on something in the work area with Eric, but after they were done, he came up behind us. He put his left arm around me and then, a second later, he put his other arm around Rosalie and squeezed us to him. Then he loosened his grip, let go of Rosalie, and reached down for Alice with his right arm, still keeping his left hand on my back as he hugged her, too. After he let her go and stood back up, he slid his arm back around my shoulder. A couple of seconds later, he let go completely. I looked so easy-going and casual on the outside, but on the inside, I was screaming in ecstasy. The physical contact had been non-stop and constant. He never stopped touching me.

School got cancelled the next day due to heavy snowfall, so Renee and I took the day off to go see my great-grandmother Laura in the hospital. It was her 101st birthday. I was telling Alice and Rosalie about it the next Tuesday while we were studying our lines for the one-act in the lobby. Edward came back there with us and we started hanging out.

"I like your balls, Alice," Rosalie said, pointing to the puffy balls on Alice's shoes. I immediately looked to Edward to make the situation awkward, which he did… for the others. He spread his legs and began rubbing under his thighs. I started laughing while Alice and Rosalie started screaming in horror.

"Edward, stop! Oh, stop, that is so gross! Edward, that is _disgusting_!" I continued to laugh my ass off. Edward laughed, too and pointed at me.

"See, she's the one laughing and you two are like, 'stop, stop'." Then he got up. "I'm gonna go get my jacket."

After he walked out the double doors, Rosalie turned to us.

"Too bad I'm gonna start doing backbends."

"Yeah, too bad," I said. Then Rosalie got on her back and tried to do a backbend. She sucked.

"Rose, you suck at that. Here, let me show you…"

"_Yes_," she whispered as I got on the floor and did a backbend. Alice got down and did the same. I knew I was asking for it by doing backbends in the middle of the lobby, where Edward was expected back at any moment, but it didn't stop me. _Boy, am I stupid_…

While all three of us were in the backbend position, Edward burst through the door with so much noise that I fell flat on my back with a painful-sounding thud. I let out a big breath and looked up at Edward, who was laughing so hard.

"Oh my God!" Alice exclaimed, leaning next to me. "I think I heard her back break!"

"I bet you just dislocated your back, Bella!" Edward laughed.

"Yeah," I said, getting up, "thanks for that."

Edward continued to get in my face and flirt teasingly up until the bell rang. Then we walked to fourth period, where I subjected myself to further teasing from Edward about my last name. _Jerk_…


	7. Edward Who?

That Thursday, I walked into the drama building to what looked like complete and total segregation. The tech class was seated casually on one side of the classroom and the acting class was on the other side. Alice and Rosalie were seated at a table alone and Edward was with a group of guys. I just shrugged it off and sat down next to Alice and Rosalie. Then, as if on cue, Edward and the other guys dispersed and he came over and sat down next to us. We talked until the movie started, which was a really gay documentary about performing arts.

About halfway through the class period, Edward turned to ask Alice a question that I didn't hear. I looked at him. Then he looked at me. He stared deep into my eyes for a long time. I had no intention of looking away until he did. But then he lifted one hand up in the shape of a C. I was beyond confused by that. I shook my head and raised an eyebrow. He emphasized the hand gesture again, which was still in the shape of a C. I did the same thing with one of my hands and his face it up. He started waving it around before he turned back to the movie.

Confused, I turned back to the movie as well, trying to focus on anything besides Edward's weirdness. But then, after a minute, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I made the C-shape with both of my hands and put them together. My eyes widened at what I had made. A heart. _What have I done?!_ I tapped Alice and held up my hand in the shape of a C.

"Do you know what this means?" I asked her.

"Yeah," she told me, "I get that all the time. When someone lifts up one of their hands like that, you're supposed to do it, too. Then you put them together and your hands make a heart."

"Edward just did that to me."

When I got on the bus to go home, I checked my phone. Angela had called. I opened my voicemail and listened.

_"Hey, girl, it's Angie. I just wanted to let you know that I completely betrayed you and signed you up for the Youth Conference tomorrow afternoon against your will. It starts at 4:30, so, after school, you and I are gonna go straight there. Love you, bye."_

_Fabulous_, I thought. Just great. I had never been to a Youth Conference, and I didn't plan on ever going to one. So I called her back.

"Yes, my love?" she said sweetly.

"Oh, don't give me that bullshit. Why would you do this to me?"

"Because you need to go."

"But why?"

"I got in touch with Jessie and Sarah. They haven't seen you since camp and they wanted you to be there. They confided in me to make that happen."

"They need to stop doing that."

"Yeah, well, they told me to tell you that they would make it worth your while…"

"Damn it. That's never good."

"Oh, c'mon, Bells. You're such a stick in the mud."

"Don't even! I hate Youth Conferences."

"Oh, can it. You've never been to one."

"Whatever. I gotta go. You're giving me a headache."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well, just wait until we get there tomorrow."

"Haha, fuck you."

"Yeah, okay. See ya, bitch."

"Bye."

And I hug up, sighed, and went home to get ready for the fucking Youth Conference…

After school the next day, I went out to the student parking lot. Angela was already in her Mustang. I opened the passenger door and got in. I sighed and turned to her.

"I hope you have the power to give me back an afternoon of my life."

"You'll have fun, I promise."

"So why didn't you get Alice to go, too?"

"Alice is busy."

"Bullshit."

"Not really.

' "Whatever."

"So what's been going on with Edward?"

"The usual."

"You need to understand that he could like you."

"But he doesn't, so…"

"Bella, I'm not about to have this argument with you."

"Then don't. I didn't ask you to bring it up."

"But it needs to be brought up."

"Then be ready to fight. Because that's all I'm gonna do."

"I'm telling you, pay attention to the way he's acting. Does he do shit like this with Alice or Rosalie?"

"Yes."

"Bella…"

"Not as noticeably. He does a little…"

"Then embrace it. He's doing it for a reason. He wants to you to know."

"But I don't know anything. I only think."

"Well, stop thinking so hard or else you're better off chasing Seth."

"Don't throw that in my face. _Never_ throw that in my face. I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for Seth to fall in love with me. I didn't ask to have feelings for Edward. Hell, I didn't ask to ever see him again after last year!"

"But you did. You didn't ask for it, but it was granted to you regardless. You know what they call that?"

"What?"

"A blessing. You can learn more about them now. We're here."

I looked out the window. It looked as if the youth from the three surrounding counties were here. Angela and I got out of the Mustang and wandered around. I immediately spotted Jessie. My spirits were immediately lifted and ran for him.

"JESSIE!" I screamed.

Jessie looked up and immediately ran for me. I ran into his arms and he lifted me into the air, spinning me around.

"Where've you been, Loca? I haven't seen you since-"

"Camp, I know."

"Where's Alice?"

"Busy."

"Really? Or is she still pissed about us not bringing back _her_ fries from McDonald's?"

I laughed at the camp memory of Jessie escaping the campgrounds at 2:00 in the morning with Sarah in tow, sneaking out to McDonald's. They had brought me back some fries to make up for not taking me with them. "No, she's over it. Where's Sarah?"

Jessie turned to grab the arm of the blonde who was talking to a very attractive guy. I took my eyes off the mystery guy to look at Sarah.

"Hey, girl," she said, hugging me.

"Hey."

"Well," said the mystery guy, "she sees Jessie it's a big production, but when she sees Sarah, all she gets is a 'hey'."

Jessie gestured to the guy. "Bella, this is Jack Dessler. Jack, this is Bella Swan."

I lifted my hand as an attempted wave at him. Jack was extremely attractive, especially when he looked me in the eyes. He looked nothing like Edward. He had short black hair and pale skin like mine, He was American and very well-built. He wasn't very thin, but he was fit and muscular. He wasn't buff or ripped or anything, but he was obviously strong. His arms were fairly toned and he had the shoulders of a working guy. Comparing his body build to Edward's, I could tell that he probably did his own works in the drama department. As I looked at his face, I noticed that it wasn't flawless, but it was decent. He was really cute. But there was one thing about him that was exactly like Edward. His piercing green eyes.

"So, Bella… you come here often?" Jack flashed a pair of dimples at me.

I smiled sarcastically. I wasn't in the mood to get hit on. I began to walk away until Sarah grabbed my arm.

"I know what you're thinking," she whispered, "but he's just messing with you. He's a class clown."

"No offense, but I really don't need any more of those in my life."

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter. Just… just keep you're little friend under control."

"He's Jessie's friend. And he's really a nice guy. Trust me."

"It's not you I don't trust. It's Jack."

Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes. You have no idea-"

"No idea of what?"

"Never mind. Don't worry about it."

"Okay, fine. Just give him a chance."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you trying to set me up with him?"

Sarah didn't say anything.

"Sarah, I could kill you! Does he know about this?!"

"No. That I can promise you."

"I find that hard to believe, but I trust you."

"Well, don't tell him."

"Whatever."

Sarah and I walked back to where Jessie and Jack stood. I was still frustrated by the come-on, but I began to soften up after the first hour. Jack really was funny, funnier than Jessie. And that's really saying something. Every couple of minutes, he would look at me and smile. God, he was so attractive when he smiled. And I learned so much about him. But it was derailing, some of the things about him. He used to smoke weed, but hadn't done so in a really long time, and the same with drinking, drugs… and sex. He wasn't afraid of getting in trouble and he's one of those risk-taking types. I could see myself having lots of fun with him. But I could also see myself getting into trouble with him… and that meant more fun. He was a bad boy. A _good_ bad boy, at that. And that attracted me all the more. He reminded of someone I knew, but I was so hung up on Jack that I couldn't even remember his name.


	8. Jack

The disappointment was difficult to hide when the night ended and Angela came for me. I hugged Sarah and Jessie goodbye and waved at Jack, trying to hide my sadness behind a smile. But I knew it wasn't working. I turned around and we left for the Mustang. Angela didn't look at me when she spoke.

"He's just like him, isn't he?"

"Who are you talking about?"

"Jack. He's just like Edward. I know he reminds you of him."

"Yeah, except Jack doesn't work for the coroner."

"Edward works in a _funeral home_?"

"Yeah, you didn't know that?"

"No, I didn't."

"Yeah, he gets paid pretty well, but I can tell he gets depressed sometimes by the whole thing. I know _I_ would."

"Yeah, me too."

"How do you know Jack, anyway?"

Angela smiled and didn't answer.

"You were in on this set-up?!"

Angela smiled even wider and didn't answer. I groaned as we approached the Mustang. Then, suddenly, I heard someone running behind us.

"Bella!"

I turned around. "Jack?"

"Can I ask you something?" he asked when he came up to me.

"Sure." My heart began to pound.

"Can I have your number?"

I hesitated, pondering what he had just said in case I was losing it. "Oh! My number?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, sure!" I took his phone and put my number into his contact list.

"Okay," he said, "I'll call you."

"Great."

He hugged me before he turned to leave again. Then I ran up to the Mustang and got inside where Angela was waiting for me.

"I don't know a thing," was all she said.

I had decided to keep the whole Jack thing a secret from everyone. Even Alice. If Jack turned out to be a total douche bag like James, I wouldn't want to get Alice's hopes up for me. She made for a very sad-looking pixie. So I kept the inside story of Jack Dessler to myself, even when he called me Monday night to set up a date. I agreed on one condition. As long as he didn't want to take me to La Push or Port Angeles and we would double with Jessie and Sarah, I would gladly go anywhere with him. So on Tuesday after drama class, Alice approached me, Edward, and Rosalie in the classroom.

"You know," she began, "when you like someone, your pupils dilate."

_Thank you, Alice,_ I thought. _You always did know how to make a bad situation worse_. I watched as Rosalie immediately got in Alice's face to look into her eyes. And within five seconds of the initiation of this disaster, Edward clapped his hands in front of my face and stared me down.

"Her eyes did it," he said.

"No," I said casually, "you cheated. You just clapped your hands in my face."

"Yeah!" Rosalie chimed in. "That would make anyone's eyes-" But poor Rosalie didn't get to finish making what would have been an unarguable point before Edward did the same thing to her, causing her eyes to cross and her to almost fall backwards.

Throughout the rest of the day, I knew that I had probably gotten myself out of a tight spot back in the theatre, but I couldn't help but feel like there was something very wrong here. Something didn't feel right. And I couldn't figure out what it was… but then it hit me like a ton of bricks when I walked through the door of my house. When I had looked back into Edward's eyes… his pupils weren't dilated.

That afternoon, Renee knocked on my door.

"Bella, can I come in?"

"Sure."

"Hey," she said as she walked in.

"Hey."

"Do you wanna come to the hospital with me to see Laura?"

I hesitated, knowing exactly the reason why. "Sure."

We were silent on the way there, which was a serious abnormality for us. But more for Renee than for me. Laura was 101. She was old. I didn't need anyone to tell me that she wasn't exactly getting younger. In fact, I could bluntly say that I knew she was dying and her time was almost up. I knew her and she knew me inside and out. I wasn't ready for what I walked in on when I got there, but I sucked it up and endured it.

Laura was lying in the bed, not even able to hold herself up. She was staring off into space, only blinking a couple of times a minute. Renee kneeled next to her.

"Gran?" she said. "Gran, can you hear me?"

Laura glanced at her, but she didn't know who my mom was. She just stared at her like she would a stranger. I tried the same thing, but she didn't know me either. I couldn't believe this. This beautiful woman who knew me better than anyone, who knew exactly who I was just a week ago, didn't know who I was anymore. Renee and I choked back our tears. Then, suddenly, Laura looked away from us and stared off into space. He slowly lifted her arm out like she was reaching for something… or someone. I looked to where she was pointing and staring, but I couldn't see anything… or anyone. I knew what was happening. But I wasn't scared. There was someone standing there in the room with us that Renee and I couldn't see. But Laura could. And I wasn't scared.

Soon, two nurses came in, saying that they were getting her ready to transport to the hospice, a place that I refused to go. But it wasn't out of fear. It was out of pain. Every few minutes, a person died in that place. And I didn't want to be there. Renee and I were obligated to leave. We went home in silence. I went straight to bed that night and dreamt about death.


	9. It Happened One Night

I stayed home from school on Wednesday. I had too much on my mind to be able to go to school. But what surprised me was that Renee and Charlie actually accepted that as a reason to stay home. I stayed in bed all day, thinking about Edward, Jack, Laura, the funeral home, James, a lot of things. I wondered what was going on in Edward's head, how he felt about me, etc. I thought about what an ass James was for leaving me in Port Angeles. I thought about Jack and all the new possibilities that would arise for us. I thought about Laura and how her life was finally at an end. It scared me to think about death. I guess it was because I knew I wasn't ready to die. _That_ scared me more than anything, dying before I'm ready.

I didn't understand how Edward could do what he does. Seeing all those dead people who were once as alive as me or him. I couldn't deal with a job that required me to watch a hundred people cry together in pain and anguish. I couldn't even stand to be one of the ones crying pain, but that night, I knew that I was well on my way to being one of those people.

At about 10:00, the phone rang. I sat up in bed, knowing that if someone was calling at this hour, it couldn't be good. About ten minutes later, I could hear Renee walking through the kitchen in her shoes. I heard keys jingling and muffled talking between her and Charlie, and then I heard my mother leave. It didn't take long for me to start hyperventilating. I knew exactly what was happening and I didn't need a coroner to help me figure that out.

I got up the next morning as usual. Charlie came into my bedroom to wake me up instead of Renee. Her bathroom light was off, so I knew she was still in bed. That wasn't normal for her. But then again, today wasn't gonna be normal. It was gonna be the exact opposite.

"You don't have to go today if you don't want to. I can call-"

"No. I'm going."

"Are you sure?"

I knew he knew that I knew. "Yes, Dad. I need to get out of here. I need to see Edward."

"But what about Jack?"

"Jack can't help me with this. He doesn't know me like Edward does."

I went to drama, maintaining composure better than I ever thought possible. I put on a happy face for everyone… for the first ten minutes of class. Then something inside me cracked. I looked at Alice intently, hoping she could figure it out. But I had to use our code for "I need to talk to you alone" and put my finger to my nose.

"Where?" she asked, as part of the code.

I got up and led the way through the hallway and into the bathroom lobby.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked.

"The hospice called last night at 10:00. I was in bed, but I knew who it was… and this morning, Renee didn't get up and… sometime last night…"

Alice pulled me into a hug. I wasn't crying, but I was messed up. Then, suddenly, Alice pulled away and looked through the window of the double doors.

"Edward's coming."

"Alice, I can't look him in the face…"

And I went through the next set of double doors into the main lobby. And that's where I burst into tears. But I could still hear them on the other side of the doors.

"Her great-grandmother died last night."

"In that case, she needs _me_."

I could hear Edward follow me into the lobby as I leaned up against the wall and continued to sob. He pulled up a chair in front of me and sat down, waiting for me as I slid down the wall and wrapped my arms around my knees. Alice had followed him and sat down next to me. She wrapped her arms around me.

"Bella," Edward whispered.

I didn't look up. "She's gone, Edward. She's gone, it's over, and I am never going to see her again!" I paused, letting out more broken sobs. "She was so beautiful… she lived to be 101 years old. She outlived her oldest child and her youngest grandson. She knew exactly who she was and she knew me better than I know myself."

"And because of that," Edward said gently, "you will see her again, Bella. Even _you_ know that."

Alice looked up at him hopefully as he continued on with words that would stay in my heart forever.

"I know this may sound really stupid coming from me, but I know that you loved her. Otherwise, you wouldn't be sitting in this floor crying. And I know she loved you, too. And you know, in all the time I've spent at these funerals, I've always noticed how it's usually the girls who openly bawling their eyes out, and the men are standing in the back in silence. They aren't crying, but you can look at them and tell that they're feeling something, too. And this may also sound stupid and cliché, but love is the most powerful emotion. I know that we say that 'hate' is strong word, yet we throw 'love' around like it's nothing… but love truly is the most powerful thing in this world."

I looked up at him, my heart full because of what he had said. Edward had never spoken so deeply to me before now and, through that, I could see the beauty within him. I really did feel better. I stood up and Alice wiped the mascara from under my eyes. Edward stood up with us. He looked at me humbly and spoke still in his gentle tone.

"Does your family need someone to make arrangements?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything about that."

"Do you need someone to go with you?"

"To the funeral?"

Edward nodded. I wanted to say yes. God, I wanted to so bad, but the idea scared me. I would be vulnerable and sad and crying and I didn't want Edward to see me like that. I was sure to be ten times worse at the funeral than right now during my first big breakdown. So I stalled.

"Umm… I don't even know when the funeral is, so…"

"Okay, that's fine."

I turned back to Alice. I could see the desperation in her eyes for me to accept his offer. I really wanted to, but I had no idea what my family would think or what Tanya would say or anything like that. If I let him escort me to this funeral… my thoughts were interrupted by a hand tenderly placed on my forearm. I looked up into Edward's eyes.

"By the way, you can expect to have about six more of these episodes."

"_Six_?"

"Or more."

_Fabulous_, I thought. Then after Edward left me and Alice, alone, I looked at her.

"He didn't even hug me."

Alice smiled sympathetically. "He usually doesn't when someone's upset. Something about proving that he'll never take advantage while you're down."

"You mean like when he said that he wouldn't be on me about kissing James? That he wouldn't push me to do anything I didn't want to do?"

"He said that?"

"Yes. You were there."

I guess I wasn't listening… that is so strange…"

"Why?"

"I don't know. Why did he feel like he needed to make that a point? What if he was insinuating something?"

"Like?"

"Okay, he knows that that you know that he has sex. And he also knows that you don't. Let's say he was thinking about getting with you, but he was afraid you'd say no because of the whole sex thing. Wouldn't _you_ want to make it a point ahead of time that you wouldn't pressure her into anything?"

"Good point… do you think that's his incentive?"

"There's only one way to find out…"

"And that would be…?"

"Time. Time will tell."

"Brilliant."


	10. Chapter 10

That afternoon, I had two more breakdowns before I had to sit for the Webers. I was holding baby Sunny in my arms. She was crying excessively and I wanted to cry with her. But instead, I decided to pull out my cell and call Jack to cancel our date with Jessie and Sarah for Saturday night.

"Bella?"

"Hey, Jack."

"What's wrong? You sound upset."

"I can't go out on Saturday night."

"Why not? Is everything okay?"

"Not really, no."

"What happened?"

"My great-grandmother died last night. I don't know when the funeral is or anything, but there's no way I could make it to our date."

"God, Bella… I am so sorry…"

"It's okay, Jack."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

Oh, shit. "Umm… I don't even know when the funeral is, so…"

"Okay, that's fine. You just call me if you need anything, okay?"

"I will, I promise."

"Okay, girl. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and cradled Sunny, who was finally sleeping. There was no way that I was going to let Jack go with me to the funeral. If I wasn't going to have Edward come with me, there was no way in hell that I was gonna let Jack come. Besides, I didn't even know Jack that well. I desperately wanted Edward to go with me. I wanted to call him and tell him so, but I couldn't do that. I was unsure about it. I started crying again over a number of things. I was taking care of eight children while I could admittedly say that I was emotionally unstable on so many different levels. I had a new guy in my life that really liked me, Edward was still being Edward, and I had just lost my great-grandmother. I knew it sounded horrible, but there was nothing I could do about Laura and I needed to distract myself with other things that needed analyzing.

I immediately thought about Edward. There was something there that I wasn't seeing. Something that would explain why he lied at La Push, why he told me and Alice two different stories about Tanya, why he grabbed my waist in front of Tanya, why he's been doing all this flirting, why he held onto me for so long… there had to be a reason. It could be mind games, or it could be untold feelings; I had no way of knowing. But I was trying so hard to figure it all out.

_How could I live with myself,_

_Knowing that I let our love go;_

_And, oh, what I'd do for one chance,_

_I just gotta let you know._

Why the fuck was he doing this? Was it all a trap? Some scheme to make me believe that he could ever like me when he doesn't? Or was it true? There was something going on and I wanted to know what it is.

_I know what I did wasn't clever,_

_But me and you were meant to be together;_

_So let me in, give me another chance,_

_To really be your man._

Inside, I was screaming. Edward was with Tanya. He seemed genuinely interested in Tanya, but I hadn't forgotten what he told me. He didn't trust her. And if he couldn't trust her, how were things supposed to work? And even though Tanya was drop-dead gorgeous, it was possible for Edward to like me, too… right?

_'Cause when the roof came in and the truth came out,_

_I just didn't know what to do;_

_But when I become a star, we'll be livin' so large,_

_I'll do anything for you._

It upset me greatly to be in this position. And it bothered me even more that I had Jack. This guy would do anything for me and I was still hung up on Edward. I really liked Jack and I didn't want to hurt him. He was good for me, better than Edward ever would be. I was old enough to know who was good for me and who wasn't, but I was naïve enough not to care. I knew it was wrong, but I intended to try to build something with Jack. And at the same time, I would continue to try to solve the mystery of Edward Cullen.

There was something going on with Edward that had to do with me. He was holding back for some reason. I wanted to know why, what his feelings were towards me, and how I was going to fix it. And I wanted things to be the way they were before. It had been two weeks since he hugged me. I wanted him to hold me again. I was giving myself until Rose Johannsen's third birthday to get ten hugs from Edward; that was my personal goal. I had already gotten to my eighth one, so I needed two more by next Tuesday. It wasn't absolutely _vital_ for me… but I just wanted to feel his arms around me again.

_Mmm, whatcha say, Mmm, that you only meant well,_

_Well, of course you did;_

_Mmm, whatcha say, Mmm, that it's all for the best,_

_Of course it is._

_Mmm, whatcha say, Mmm, that you only meant well,_

_Well, of course you did;_

_Mmm, whatcha say,_

_Wh-wh-wh-wh-what did she say?_


	11. Like a Moth to a Flame

The next morning in drama class, my eyes were puffy and red and my face was paler than usual. I dragged Alice and Rosalie into the lobby with me. We were out there for twenty minutes with no sign of Edward. I figured he might need a little bit of a push. I got up and headed for the House instead of going straight through the double doors into the classroom.

"Where are you going?" Rosalie asked.

"I'm gonna go get my folder. I'll be right back."

And I left them out there as I went across the stage and into the wings. From there, I went back through the metal door leading to the classroom. Luckily, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward sitting at the first computer. This would make my mission a whole lot easier. I didn't look at him at all as I walked casually up to the folder shelf and retrieved my folder. I went straight back to the lobby. I walked in, sat down in one of the chairs, and resumed conversation with Alice and Rosalie. It had only been fifteen seconds before I saw Edward coming down the hallway toward us. I smirked to myself, proud of my accomplishment. Edward sat down on the stool on which I had my feet and we all just talked.

"Tanya was on the verge of breaking up last night."

I sat up a little. "Why?!"

"Apparently, when we make plans and my _dad_ changes those plans, it's _my_ fault."

"What happened?"

"I talked her down. But she was still pretty mad. She's been mad a lot lately."

"Well, you guys have been together for four months…"

"Yeah, I know. But enough about that. Did you have any more of those spells since yesterday in class?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"In seventh period in front everybody."

"God, Bella…"

"Yeah, and then again after I got out of the dentist's office. I stole my mom's keys, went out to the car, and had it out."

Edward nodded in satisfaction. "That's good. You need to get it out as much as possible."

I nodded and smiled.

"Have you heard anything about the funeral yet?"

"No, no one's telling me shit."

"Oh, okay. Well, let me know when you find something out."

I nodded again.

That afternoon, I walked into the house to find my mom going through pictures of Laura.

"What are you doing?" I asked her.

"Putting together a montage for tomorrow."

"What's going on tomorrow?"

"Visiting hours. The funeral is Sunday."

I didn't wait around for any more. I grabbed my cell phone and went to my room, shutting the door behind me. Then it hit me. Edward didn't have his phone. His fucking step mom had taken it shortly after he had texted me on Christmas Eve. I had no way of getting a hold of him except on Facebook. I took out my laptop and logged in. I went to Edward's page and saw that he was online. I clicked the link that would lead to me to chat, but nothing ever came up. I wanted to talk to him and tell him that I wanted him to go with me. I wanted him to be the one next to me when they buried her. I trusted _him_ with that responsibility. I wasn't very familiar with the concept of Facebook chat, but I did everything I could to get to him. But nothing helped. I eventually gave up. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

I closed out of Facebook and sank into my bed. I had really hoped that he would be there. I wanted him to come with me. I wanted that more than anything. But it was better this way. On Sunday, I would be broken. And Edward didn't need to deal with that. His job required him to see people in pain all the time; he didn't need to see me and my family that way as well, especially while he was off-duty. It wasn't necessary.

It was Monday. The funeral had been yesterday, a day that I never wanted to speak of with anyone ever. I sat in the lobby with Embry, Alice, Rosalie, Eric, and several other people playing Never Have I Ever. It was about ten minutes until the bell and I was ready to go to the classroom alone to see Edward. But then the double doors opened and Edward walked through. He looked around once at all of us and, without much hesitation, slid against the wall next to me. He may have left barely an inch between us. The whole time, I couldn't breathe.

Later, all four of us were standing by the door in the classroom, waiting for the bell to ring. I needed to tell him.

"The funeral was yesterday," I told him. Rosalie and Alice stood by, shocked that he didn't already know that.

"You didn't go?" Alice asked him.

"I was on chat all weekend, but neither of you got on Facebook to tell me anything."

What surprised me was that he seemed frustrated by the fact that I didn't contact him about the funeral. Was it really that important to him? And if it was, why? I glanced over at Alice. She was eyeing me intently, like she was thinking the same thing I was. No one, especially a guy, would offer to attend a funeral for one of his girl friend's relatives. Edward hated his job. He hated going to funerals, so if he was willing to go to one with me where he would be the only one in that room who was still in tact… God, there was something there. There had to be. It was the only thing that made sense.

All the evidence, all the secrets, all my questions that are still unanswered… what if it was all something I had created in my head? But it couldn't be. I could feel my hope and faith in Edward fading. But at the same time, he was closer than he's ever been. If all this was happening four months ago, I'd go back on all my suspicions and recoil like a freakin' Pokemon. But I'm still confidently holding on. My intuition was telling me that I was right. Edward liked me. It was the only thing that made sense. When she got with him, Tanya had unknowingly put tape over both of our mouths, making it impossible for either of us to admit our feelings. And if my intuition gave me a feeling this strong, telling me that Edward had feelings for me… how could I be wrong?

But there's a glass wall separating us. It's paper-thin; so thin that when he puts his hand up to the glass, I can put mine against it and feel the heat radiating from him… but I can't break through.

Save me, Edward.


	12. The Night My World Shattered

When I got home, I walked into the kitchen to find Renee already working on dinner. I told her about my day and gave her an update on Edward. Just then, my phone vibrated from my schoolbag.

"Who's that?" Renee asked.

"I don't know. It might be Jack," I told her as I pulled out my phone. I saw that I had four text messages and two voicemails, all from Alice. They had all been from within the last half hour. I frowned, immediately checking my voicemail. I listened to Alice's hysterical voice, but the signal was terrible and Renee's pressure cooker was hissing loudly. I only heard the key points.

"Bella! It's Edward… Tanya… oh my God!"

My eyes widened in horror as I left my voicemail and opened the text messages.

_"EDWARD ALERT! EDWARD ALERT! CALL ME ASAP!"_

_ "Bella, this is a level 10 Edward Alert and should be treated as such. CALL ME."_

_ "Bella, please! This is super important! The future of your love life depends on this!"_

_ "Oh my God, Bella, you need to call me. We are under a code red Edward Alert."_

My heart began to pound and the tears formed in my eyes. I wasn't sad; I was scared. I turned to Renee, who looked at me funny.

"Bella, what's going on?"

"It never ends…" And I ran to my bedroom and dialed Alice's number. I began to pace.

"Bella! Oh my God!"

"What, Alice? What the fuck is going on?"

"They're over, Bella."

"What?"

"Edward and Tanya. They broke up. _I_ broke them up."

"What? Why the hell would you do that?"

"He and I were on chat earlier and he asked me to help him. He said that he was thinking about breaking up with Tanya for another girl…"

"No fucking way…"

"Just wait… I asked him to consider who he liked more, who would make him happy, who he could _trust_. He said that he really liked Tanya, but Jane would make him happy…"

My heart shattered into a million pieces in a matter of milliseconds. "Jane? Who the hell is Jane?"

"A girl that goes to church with Edward. She doesn't go to our school."

"Did he choose her?" I asked as the tears fell, though I already knew the answer.

"Yes, Bella. He did."

I couldn't speak. I closed my eyes in defeat. But it couldn't be true. I knew in my heart that he liked me. I _knew_ it. For me, it was no longer a question; it was a fact. And I just knew in my heart that he liked me.

"No, Alice. There has to be some mistake…"

"I know, Bella, I know. But I promise you. This isn't over. There has to be something else going on. I am no more convinced than you are that he likes you. He's just being stupid."

But I was ignoring her broken promises. She thought she knew, but she had no idea. "Alice, do you have a last name?"

"No. He didn't say and I didn't ask."

"Okay, that's fine," I said, wiping the tears away and focusing on the matter at hand. I opened my laptop and went to Edward's page. I clicked on his friends list. There was only one Jane and she belonged to a mutual group that Edward belonged to. It was a church youth group.

"I found her. Jane Coval."

"What does she look like?"

"Not as gorgeous as Tanya, in my opinion, but she's not _completely_ unfortunate-looking."

"Bella…"

"Don't, Alice. It's over. Just face it with me."

"I'm not totally convinced, Bella. So I'm not facing shit with you. You can't honestly tell me you believe this."

"He made the fucking choice, Alice. He made the choice to break up with Tanya for another girl. He had the opportunity to choose me. But he didn't. He skipped right over me and went to the next girl in line. If he wanted to be with me, he would've made it happen. But he didn't, Alice. It's over."

"Bella…"

"I'm gonna talk to them."

"What?"

"Just wait…" I composed a message for Edward.

_"Hey… I saw Tanya's relationship status. Feel like talking?"_

And I waited. Edward never responded. So I went to Tanya's page and sent her the same message. She responded immediately.

_"Ya actually I do."_

_ "What happened?"_

_ "IDK it just wasn't working out I guess. He said it was bcuz I was mad all the time but I wouldn't be mad if he didn't make me mad"_

_ "Are you taking it okay?"_

_ "Ya I feel a lot better now. Im more free and I don't have to explain myself all the time."_

I let her go and burst into tears over Jane. She was pretty. Blonde and young. No more than sixteen, like myself. But she was a junior, whereas I was only a sophomore. I couldn't breathe. I was so broken over this. I couldn't believe this was happening. It was supposed to be _me_. Why wasn't I good enough?


	13. Hurt

I would never forget today. I walked from math to drama scared to death. I could hear Edward's footsteps behind me the whole time and what I knew was confirmed when Lauren Mallory walked out the door, looked past me, and addressed Edward.

"Edward."

"What?" I heard him say.

"This is from Tanya."

I didn't look back once, though I did slow down. I didn't want to know what this was all about; I didn't want to know what Tanya had sent Lauren to return. I had heard enough last night. But I did look back as he followed me into the building. When the door shut behind us, I turned around to look him in the face. To the naked eye, Edward looked fine, but I could see that there was something wrong. He wouldn't look me in the face. And I knew that he wasn't okay.

I went ahead to the House to put my stuff down. I fully intended to go back to the classroom to talk to Edward. As I went across the stage and into the wings, I approached the metal door. But it opened and Edward walked through. He looked me dead in the eyes and lifted his fist. Dangling from his fingers was Tanya's Christmas present from him. I had never seen it, but he had told me about the famous "Key to My Heart" necklace that had hung from Tanya's neck for an entire month. I immediately recognized it when I saw it.

I stood there for a moment, stunned. Then I watched Edward walk away from me to the other side of the stage behind the wings. I followed him. That was typically something I never had the courage to do, but today, I had no fear. I would follow Edward anywhere, especially when he was hurting. It killed me to see him like this. He was hurting so much and it was because of Tanya. It was cruel enough that she would return something that he wanted her to keep, but it destroyed me how she would have her friend do it. I followed Edward, who continued to walk away from me. But I wasn't letting him get away that easily.

"Will you please turn around and look at me?"

"I really fucked up…" he said as he leaned up against the wall, burying his face in his hands.

"Did you not wanna break up with her?"

"Yeah, I did. We were gonna stay friends, but then I told her the real reason I broke up with her and now she wants nothing to do with me."

"What was the real reason?" I asked, though I already knew. But Edward couldn't know that Alice and ran to each other after everything he says. He needed to be able to trust both of us.

"Another girl."

I felt that pang of agony rip through my heart again. "Dare I ask who?"

"Jane. She goes to my church."

"Are you guys together now?"

"Yeah. God, Bella, I really fucked up…"

I couldn't speak. I hated seeing him like this.

"Don't tell me you're gonna start crying," he said, looking up at me.

"No way! I'm just afraid _you're_ gonna start crying."

"No."

"I don't think I've ever seen you like this. It's not right."

"Yeah, this is one of those rare occasions."

"Hey," I said, taking a step closer to him, "everything's gonna be okay. I promise you."

He looked into my eyes. I could see the vulnerability in his.

"Come here," I said, pulling him into a hug. I smiled lightly to myself, counting my ninth hug. I couldn't believe that I was _still_ counting. I tried to be the one in control, like I was the protector for once. But somehow, I ended up with his arms around me, protecting me. But I didn't understand why. Did he know? Did he know that I was hurting, too? Because of him? After we let go, I looked up at him.

"What are you guys doing in tech?" I asked him.

"I have no fucking clue."

"Okay, well, why don't you find out if you can come hang out with us."

"I might. I just don't wanna piss off Miss Kay. I've pissed off enough bitches."

Then he walked away from me. But as he went through the metal door, he turned back and smiled at me. I did my best to smile back, tried to make him feel better. I turned around after he disappeared and went out to the House. I was five minutes late, but I didn't care. Luckily, Miss Kay wasn't even out there yet. I sat down next to Rosalie and Alice. Alice could look at me and knew exactly where I had been. I looked at her and shook my head.

"We were in the work area. He's not okay."

"Who's not okay?" Rosalie asked.

"Don't worry about it," I told her. She just shrugged it off. Then Edward appeared on the stage, walking toward us. He looked so torn. He sat down on the edge of the front of the stage in front of us. My spirits were lifted to the highest height possible in the current situation. Miss Kay came out shortly after him. She began to take roll. When she called out my name, Edward pointed to me to make sure she knew I was there. He put on a good act for everyone around… except me. I knew better. And he knew that.

After a minute or so, he migrated to the open seat on my left. He pulled the necklace out of his pocket and started twirling it in his fingers.

"What is that? Bling?" Rosalie asked.

"If you wanna call it that…" he said in monotone.

I looked at Rosalie and shook my head at her seriously. She immediately shut up and didn't press him about it again. It was all I could do not to wrap my arms around him and hold him tightly. I wanted to protect him from this hurt. He was my best friend. And he didn't deserve this. I was well aware that he made his own choices to bring him to this moment, but I knew it was complicated. I didn't need to understand to know that this wasn't how it was supposed to be.

Edward was glued to my side all day. We went out to the lobby to play Never Have I Ever with half the students in the class. Edward followed me. When he saw Embry, he approached him.

"I'm gonna sit next to my buddy!" he said brightly, planting himself on the floor next to Embry.

"Oh my God, he's losing it…" I whispered to myself. I sat down with Rosalie and Alice, close to Edward. Angela came in shortly and snapped a picture of all of us together. I looked over at Edward, who looked so serious and melancholy. Miss Kay came out there to herd us back onstage for an improv game. She held out 50 laminated strips of paper that told us what to improvise. All the tech kids made a run for it… except Edward. He went to check in with Mr. Banner and then sat down next to me onstage on one of the benches. We watched several small groups and individuals present their improv slips. Edward even did one, which impressed the hell out of me; he was very good at acting. And the more I thought about that, the more it scared me. But I didn't let it show.

After he sat back down next to me, I noticed that he was sitting so close to me, touching me. Yet, there was two feet of space between him and the next person over, a girl who we both knew. They were having a small conversation next to me, but I wasn't paying attention. I kept my eyes on the performers. Then, suddenly, Edward grabbed me swiftly and pulled me to him, squeezing me tightly over his lap. The next words I heard were from Edward.

"See?"

The girl shook her head.

"That's not love," she said, "that's attachment."

_Whoa, wait a minute, what?! _"What?" I questioned. But I didn't get an answer before the performers concluded their performance and Miss Kay called for the next individual. Edward urgently pushed me up to the middle of the stage. But then the bell rang and I didn't get to do either, perform or find out what Edward and that other girl were talking about.

Those words lingered in my mind all day long. I knew he was feeling some sort of pull towards me today, due to what he had been through with Tanya, but for him to go as far as… God knows what. I had no clue what they had been talking about. And I was so mad at myself for it. I knew better than to take my eyes and ears away from Edward and _this_ was why! Now I have no idea what that girl meant by 'that's not love, that's attachment'. What had they been talking about and what did it have to do with me? More importantly, why was it said right after Edward grabbed me like that and said, "See?"

But then it hit me while I was sitting there, a new light that was happier than the analysis in which I was burying myself. I couldn't believe that it took me until right before I fell asleep to realize that I had accomplished my goal spontaneously right at the last seconds of class. When Edward grabbed me and pulled me into him, that was it. That was Hug #10.


	14. The Night My World REALLY Shattered

On Thursday, I was greeted by Rosalie when I walked into the drama building. I walked up to her and we waited for Alice. Shortly after I arrived, Edward approached me.

"Hey, can I use your phone for the rest of class?"

"Sure, but what for?"

"To text Jane."

"Oh, right. You got your phone taken away," I teased.

"Don't remind me."

"I don't have to. You'll always remember it while you're texting on my pink Juke."

"Terrific."

I handed him my phone and Alice walked in. When I saw her, my sanity came flooding back to me and my eyes shot to my phone in Edward's hands. _No_, I thought. I had several text messages left on my phone from him that I had locked in my inbox. And Alice and I had stayed up so many nights talking about him. If he read those messages, he would know everything. I couldn't let this happen. But I couldn't just stop him. So I kept my eyes locked on my phone. Alice saw this and followed my line of sight. She whipped her head back at me and gave me the look of death.

"Rosalie, Bella… we better get to the House before they start rehearsal for the one-act without us."

I reluctantly followed Rosalie as I was pushed along by Alice. I accidentally ran my big toe into the back of Rosalie's shoe as we left. I flinched, but kept walking. When the metal door closed behind us, Alice grabbed my shoulders.

"Have you lost your mind? What in God's name were you thinking?!"

"I wasn't."

"Well, obviously! Bella, you need to get that phone back and delete our text messages or else he will know everything!"

"Okay, okay. I'm on it."

I walked back through the metal door just in time to see Edward about to walk into the guys' dressing room.

"Edward, can I have my phone back for, like, two seconds?"

"I'm not gonna read your texts."

I was suddenly overcome with trust and confidence. "Okay, never mind." And I turned to leave. But I suddenly felt this throbbing in my toe and I looked down to see my toenail split horizontally across the middle. The blood was seeping out from under it. I immediately felt the cold sweat emerge from the nape of my neck and my forehead. I was growing extremely hot extremely fast. I began to breathe heavily and I felt dizzy. Those familiar words began to echo in my head: "You should go to the doctor and have them pop that off."

I reached for the chair that was barely a foot away from me. I fell into it just as Edward was walking out of the dressing room. _No! _I thought. _Not here! Not in front of _him! But it was too late.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked.

I doubled over in dizziness. "I did it again."

"Did what again?"

"My toe. I stubbed it and now it's bleeding and I think I might pass out."

"Well ,don't look at it! If you pass out, Bella, I swear…"

"Where's Miss Kay?"

"Miss Kay!" he called. "She hurt her foot."

Way to be discreet, Edward.

"What happened?" Miss Kay asked as she found me.

I told her what I told Edward.

"Okay…" she sighed. "Do you wanna go to the nurse and have her patch it up for you?"

I nodded.

"Do you think someone should go with you just in case?"

I nodded again and she paused, I suppose, waiting for me to name someone. I didn't.

"I'll take her," Edward offered.

_NO! This cannot be happening to me!_ "Okay," Miss Kay said, "grab a slip from Mr. Banner's desk and go."

I followed Edward to Mr. Banner's desk. I watched as he filled out the slip for me, grabbed Eric, and led me to the nurse's office. When we got there, I noticed the boys staring at my toe.

"Look at it!" I heard Eric whisper. I looked down.

"Don't!" Edward said. "Don't look at it!"

"Then _you_ don't look at it!"

Edward rolled his eyes and waited a few minutes longer. He and Eric eventually left. After the nurse got me bandaged up, I walked back to the theatre. When I walked in, Edward and Eric were sitting together. Edward was still texting. I went straight to the stage, humiliated beyond repair. I immediately went to Alice and told her what had happened. She thought it was the greatest event since the county fair.

We quickly began rehearsing our one-act. We had been at it for about fifteen minutes when Alice appeared in the wings. I looked at her. She was holding up my phone and she looked worried. Regardless of whether I should've been onstage or not, I walked over to where Alice stood.

"Edward told me to give this to you…"

"And…?"

"Bella, I think he read them…"

"You think or you know?"

"I'm not sure, but when he handed it to me, he had this look… like he knew something."

"Oh my God…"

"What are you gonna do?"

"Confront him."

"Well, you'll have to do that later. Your next scene is coming up."

I hurried back onstage in time to do my next scene, which finished the play. Afterwards, everyone voted on playing improv games as our next activity. I took Rosalie and Alice and snuck into the wings, fully intending not to participate.

"What's going on?" Rosalie asked.

"We have a major problem," I told her. "We think Edward may have read my texts."

"Why?"

"Because he looked at me funny!" Alice lashed out. "It doesn't matter! What matters is that this could end badly if we aren't careful!"

Just then, my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was a text from Jane, I was sure.

_"Who is this???" _it said.

I sighed and replied. _"Edward."_

But then she texted back. _"Oh heyyy (: how r u???"_

Damn. There was no way I was about to carry on a conversation with this girl. I knew I had no choice but to take Edward my phone. I would have to face him. So I entered the work area and waited patiently for him to notice that I was there. When he did, I handed my phone out for him.

"She texted back. I told her it was you."

He took the phone and began to text. I waited for him to look up at me so that I could get an honest answer out of him for the question I was about to ask. When he never looked up, I decided I couldn't wait for him forever.

"Did you read my inbox?" I asked him flatly.

He shook his head no without even looking up.

"Did you read my inbox?" I repeated. His response was the same. I stood there for another moment before I walked away loudly. I turned back around, prepared to say something, but I decided against it, huffed, and kept going.

"What?" Edward asked, finally looking up at me.

"Did you read my inbox?" I asked once more.

"No," he said, looking me dead in the eyes. But I still wasn't convinced.

"Are you telling me the truth?"

"Yes. I told you that I wouldn't and I didn't."

I kinda believed him after that, but not completely. I sighed. "Whatever." And I walked back to Alice and Rosalie.

"What happened?" Alice asked urgently.

"He denied it."

"So now what? He could be lying."

"I know that. And if he is, we'll be able to know."

"How?" Rosalie inquired.

"If he read the messages, that means that he knows I like him… a lot. And since he doesn't like me back, he'll start to act weird. He'll start distancing himself and getting all awkward and shit."

"Good point…"

"Exactly. He thinks he can hide from me, but he doesn't realize that he's messing with someone just as smart as he is."

"God, I hope we make it out of this alive…"

"Whaddya mean 'we'? It's _my_ life on the line here!"

"But if this gets ugly, you're gonna find a way to take us down with you."

It was ten minutes until the bell. I _really _needed my phone. I looked everywhere for Edward, but he had vanished. I finally found him in the lobby with a small group of guys.

"Are you done with my phone?"

"Nope. Sorry."

"Well, class is almost over, so…"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"You know, your phone is really addictive…" He began flipping the screen of my phone compulsively.

"So… did you read my inbox?"

"Oh, for the love of God, Bella! No, I didn't read your inbox! God, you are so compulsive…"

"Okay, fine, I believe you."

Edward looked at me skeptically, knowing there had to be strings attached. Smart man. I leaned down to him.

"But if you did, and you're lying to me… I _will_ know."

"How?"

"Just trust me. I _always_ find out. And you'll be the one to tell me."

"You won't find out anything."

"Try me," I said, walking toward the next set of double doors. I opened the door just as he spoke the five words that I never expected him to say and I froze.

"Okay, fine, I read them."

I turned around, holding the door open. I couldn't bring myself to look him in the face, so I looked down at the floor.

"But I swear," he said, "I won't tell anyone."

I could hear everything he was saying, but I couldn't understand. It was like he was speaking to me in a foreign language and I just couldn't wrap my head around it. But when it finally did sink in, I found the courage to look up into the eyes of my betrayer. He looked smug, unphased by what he had done. I could feel the tears coming and I ran away from him. I went straight to the House where Rosalie was sitting. I grabbed all of my things and left. I couldn't cut through the stage while there were actors there, so I was forced to go back through the lobby in tears.

Rosalie followed as I ran through, taking one look at Edward. He still looked like he had done nothing. He saw me crying, but he was unaffected by it. He didn't care. I sat down in the chair that I had collapsed into before and I told Rosalie what had happened. After I had finished explaining, I heard the double doors open and the shuffling of footsteps that I knew all too well. And sure enough, Edward appeared and looked right at me.

"Why would you do that?" I asked him. "How could you do this to me?"

"I didn't."

"What?"

"I didn't read them. I was kidding, I really didn't read them, I swear."

I was shocked. But I began to laugh with Edward and Rosalie, despite how upset the whole ordeal had made me. Rosalie went after Alice when the bell rang and when she brought her back, she looked like she could kill.

"I'm guessing Rose told you what Edward did?"

"Yes," she growled murderously.

I took Alice's arm and escorted her out of the building and to her next class. When we crossed paths with Edward, he gave me the most mischievous smirk and Alice glared at him. I stifled a giggle.

That night, I got on Facebook chat and was talking to Alice.

_"Bella, I cant believe you just forgave him so easily for doing that to you!"_

_ "I'm not one to hold grudges, especially against Edward."_

_ "That's just because you're soft on him."_

_ "That's soooo not fair!"_

_ "You only wish…"_

Just then, my chat popped and I looked down at the bottom of my screen. Edward had begun to chat with me. I switched back to Alice.

_"Okay, Alice, you need to call me. Edward's online and I may need your verbal help with this…"_

_ "ok"_

Alice immediately disappeared offline and my phone vibrated.

"Okay, Alice…"

"What's he saying?"

"I'll tell you everything he says as it pops up."

"Okay."

_E: "haha I made you flip out"_

_ B: "ya thanks for that"_

_ E: "what did they say that would make you cry"_

_ B: "them? Who r u talking about?"_

_ E: "the messages"_

_ B: "ohhhhhhhh"_

_ E: "ya"_

_ B: "I'll tell u someday"_

_ E: "tell me now its not like im going to say n e thing"_

_ B: "I don't think so…."_

_ E: "y wont u tell me"_

_ B: "because."_

_ E: "plz plz plz plz plz plz"_

_ B: "idk its just something I will tell you someday. not now"_

_ E: "y wont u tell me who or what does it concern"_

_ B: "its for me to know & u to find out… someday"_

_ E: "y not now does it involve me"_

_ B: "no it involves me"_

_ E: "oh does it involve Alice"_

_ B: "no"_

_ E: "ok so y cant you tell me no one will ever know and im not goin to tell n e one ever it will be kept to myself"_

_ B: "y do u want to know n e way?"_

_ E: "cause you started crying and apparently it was horrible if I knew so it bugs the fuck out of me"_

_ B: "I REALLY do want to tell u but it HAS to wait"_

_ E: "just fuckin tell me is it that you really like me cause I kinda already know that"_

At that moment, I felt my whole world come crashing down on me.


	15. Hide and Seek

_B: "y do u want to know n e way?"_

_ E: "cause you started crying and apparently it was horrible if I knew so it bugs the fuck out of me"_

_ B: "I REALLY do want to tell u but it HAS to wait"_

_ E: "just fuckin tell me is it that you really like me cause I kinda already know that"_

_ At that moment, I felt my whole world come crashing down on me. _

I guess Alice heard the air leave my body, too.

"Bella, what the fuck is going on? What did he say?"

"Alice…"

"What?"

"Oh my God, Alice…"

"_What_?!"

"He knows."

"How?! Did he really read them?!"

"No, he guessed it. Besides, when he told me he read them, my first clue that he was lying should've been when he swore that he wouldn't tell anyone. Everyone knows that anyone in this world could know except _him_."

"When he guessed it, you didn't confirm it, did you?!"

"He didn't exactly guess. He said 'is it that you really like me 'cause I kinda already know that'."

"Oh my God…" Alice whispered.

"Alice, what do I do?"

"Fuck, Bella! You _respond_! For God's sake, deny it! And hurry before he knows you're lying!"

_B: "excuse me?"_

_ E: "I know you do"_

_ B: "what makes you think that?"_

_ E: "your actions and how when I talk you always go quiet, stupid things that I say are funny to you, and you care. Trust me, I can read everyone in our class like a book. don't feel bad, I just can"_

Remember that kid who could read everyone in the class? I had just found him… and damn, was he was good.

_B: "then u obviously cant read me"_

_ E: "ok whatever"_

_ "cmon I wanna know, damnit"_

_ B: "DAMN IT EDWARD IT WOULD CHANGE EVERYTHING"_

_ E: "no it wouldn't tell me"_

_ B: "first ur going to tell me something"_

_ E: "what"_

_ B: "La Push"_

_ E: "?"_

_ B: "why did u do what u did?"_

_ E: "why did I do what"_

_ B: "it's a long story hold on…"_

_ E: "ok"_

_ B: "I went looking for a ride. U offered. I told my mom. She said to be home by 11. I told you. You said, 'then ur mom better be picking you up from La Push'. I said never mind and turned to leave. Then you stopped me"_

_ E: "ok"_

_ B: "You said, 'well, we have to get Lauren back to the school by 10:15 so that her mom can pick her up. We can just drop u off when we drop her off'. I believed you. I tell my mom and she leaves. We get in the Volvo and go. When we get there its already 9:30"_

_ E: "ok"_

_ B: "I go up to Lauren and ask her how we're gonna get back to the school on time. She looks at me like im crazy. She has no idea what in talking about. So I turn to you and you deny saying ANYTHING about getting me back to the school by 10:15. Why did u lie?"_

_ E: "I was going to take you home but you left and I was like where did bella go and tanya said she left and I was like wtf"_

_ B: "it seemed as though you went to a lot of trouble to get me to go"_

_ E: "actually I didn't but I was responsible for you and I was going to get you home im not that big of a fucking jerk"_

_ B: "I know ur not I never ever thought you were, but I was confused"_

_ E: "ok so how is this supposed to change everything"_

_ B: "nvm"_

_ E: "no tell me"_

_ B: "im too scared to tell you I know that's not like me but I am"_

_ E: "don't be scared just fuckin tell me"_

_ B: "I thought u said u would never push me"_

_ E: "into sex but this is pissing me off"_

WTF?!?! When was that ever an idea?!

_B: "fine plz just stop being mad at me"_

_ E: "ok just tell me. And im not mad I just hate it when someone tells me that they don't want to tell me something"_

_ B: "God Edward I DO wanna tell you I just cant tell you NOW"_

_ E; "then DO IT AND YES YOU CAN IM NOT GOING TO THINK N E DIFFERENTLY NOR TREAT YOU DIFFERENTLY JUST TEL ME IT WILL BE OUR SECRET"_

_ B: "ok……… u got me"_

_ E: "what do you mean"_

_ B: "I guess u can read me"_

_ E: "ok"_

_ B: "do you get it?"_

_ E: "ya I do cause I can read you"_

_ B: "so say something"_

_ E: "what am I supposed to say I have known it the whole time it doesn't change n e thing"_

_ B: "great… this is just… great"_

_ E: "why"_

_ B: "b/c I knew it would be a bad idea"_

_ E: "its not a bad idea"_

_ B: "why not?"_

_ E: "cause you cant help who you like and im not goin to change n e thing"_

_ B: "fair enough… and I thought I was doing so well at hiding it"_

_ E: "ya with n e one else you were but that's why I don't stay single long cause I know who I like and who likes me and I can change very fast"_

_ B: "why didn't u say n e thing"_

_ E: "cause I kinda did and you denied it haha"_

_ B: "u didn't believe me though did u"_

_ E: "nope cause I know you tooo well"_

_ B: "u wanna know how long…. Just for craps and giggles?"_

_ E: "since the 3__rd__ week of our Spanish class"_

_ B: "what?! Try moving up a year and a month!"_

_ E: "you started liking me in our Spanish class and you know it"_

_ B: "bullshit! I thought you were absolutely repulsive then"_

_ E: "ok"_

_ B: "the first compliment you ever gave me was, and I quote: 'You have nice tits. That's ONE good quality about you'."_

_ E: "haha I remember that haha"_

_ B: "ya at first it pissed me off"_

_ E: "you know you ended up liking it though"_

_ B: "dream on…"_

_ E: "haha wtevr"_

_ B: "but I do remember Mike and Eric accusing me of flirting with you. The though grossed me out"_

_ E: "wow thnx"_

_ B: "that was a long time ago… but may I ask why you asked me 'when do you turn 16 again?' all the freakin time?"_

_ E: "idk just fuckin w u"_

_ B: "ya that's nice. And ur sure your not a complete jerk?"_

_ E: "ya"_

_ B: "I don't like mind games Edward"_

_ E: "damn sry night"_

_ B: "we shouldn't have had this convo…"_

_ E: "y not its your feelings"_

_ B: "ok final thoughts. I like u, u don't like me. Lets keep pretending like this never happened. Act like we've always acted. Nothing changes"_

_ E: "if I do recal I said that like two minutes ago"_

_ B: "whatever. Just tell me that u agree with everything I just said… right?"_

_ E: "agree night"_

_ B: "thank u this is how I want it. Night"_

But don't let the casual dialogue fool you. I wasn't okay. I had spent an entire hour sobbing and crying into Alice's ear and she could do nothing for me. I hung up on her and cried for what felt like hours. I had finally gotten my answer. And this time, there were no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I knew the truth. And the cold, hard truth was that Edward had played me.

He had known my feelings all along and he still flirted with me. He made me believe for four months that he liked me and it was all a lie. It was all a game to him. He played me. So I decided to call the only person I could trust at this point.

"Hello?"

"Jack?"

"Bella, is that you?"

"Yes…"

"What's wrong? You sound upset. Is it about you're great-grandmother?"

"No. I'm sorry that the last couple of times I've called you I was in tears, but this is important. It will affect how we go on from here."

"Okay, shoot."

I told him everything I could about Edward. From my initial feelings all the way up to the chat convo we had had only an hour before. He listened intently, making no judgments or accusations. When I finished, I let out a long, deep breath and a broken sob.

"Bella, I understand exactly what you're going through. I've been there. I know exactly what it feels like. But you will get through this."

"You must think I'm a total nutcase."

"Not at all, actually. You actually had the courage to come to me about this. That shows you're honest. I want a girl like that in my life."

I smiled. "Really? Even after all the crying I've been doing?"

"Hell yeah! At least you _have_ feelings! I know I don't show mine that well or even that much, but I need someone around me who can."

"I can't believe you don't think I'm crazy."

"Well, you better believe it, baby. In fact, to prove it to you, what do you think about going out with me on Saturday night?"

"Sure… as long as Sarah and Jessie go with us."

"Of course."

"Jack?"

"Yes?"

"I really like you."

He laughed softly. "I think I prefer the way I found out over the way _he_ did."

I giggled.

"I like you, too, Bella. A lot. More than you know."

"But why?"

"You have to ask? Bella, you're _beautiful_. You're funny and clumsy and everything about you just makes me smile."

"No one's ever said that to me before."

"Good, 'cause I've never said that to anyone before. I'm not good with sentimental words and you can probably see why. But there's something about you, Bella Swan. Something that I wanna get to know better."

"And you soon will," I said, though my voice broke at the end.

"This guy is important to you, isn't he?"

"Of course. He's my best friend. I can't live without our friendship and I wish my feelings hadn't gotten in the way."

"Would you be with him if you got the chance?"

"That doesn't matter anymore. He'd hurt me, one way or another. But the thing is… he doesn't have feelings for me, Jack. He doesn't like me; it's just that simple."

"Then he doesn't deserve you. If he can't see how beautiful and sweet you are, then he's doing himself a disservice. And I feel sorry for him."

"But Jack, there's something I want you to know."

"What?"

"I'm choosing you."

"As opposed to what?"

"I'm making a choice. I could keep chasing after Edward or I can be with someone I could love. It's either you or him."

"And…?"

"I choose you."

"And I'm going to promise you something right now, Bella. I will be here for you always. Starting now, I belong to you."

"Thank you."

"Do you want me to stay up with you until you fall asleep?"

"Would you?" I asked, crying again.

"Of course."

I curled up into a ball under my covers, trying to shield myself from the searing pain in my heart, as if that would help. I cried silently until I finally let the darkness take over completely.

_Where are we?_

_ What the hell is going on?_

_ The dust has only just begun to form,_

_ Crop circles in the carpet;_

_ Sinking, feeling._

_ Spin me 'round again,_

_ And rub my eyes;_

_ This can't be happening._

_ When busy streets a mess when people_

_ Would stop to hold their heads heavy._

_ Hide and seek,_

_ Trains and sewing machines;_

_ All those years,_

_ They were here first._

_ Oily marks appear on walls,_

_ Where pleasure moments hung before the takeover;_

_ The sweeping insensitivity of this still life._

_ Hide and seek,_

_ Trains and sewing machines;_

_ Blood and tears,_

_ They were here first._

As I slept, I was numb all over… except from the pain in my heart. It felt like this huge hole had been punched through my chest. It burned so bad, I could hardly sleep. It was killing me inside to know what I now knew. All this time, I thought I had the upper hand. But it turned out that I was being played all along. And it wasn't just by some random guy I thought was cute. It was my best friend.

_Mmmm whatcha say,  
Mmm that you only meant well?  
well of course you did  
Mmmm whatcha say,  
Mmmm that it's all for the best?  
of course it is  
Mmmm whatcha say?  
Mmmm that it's just what we need  
you decided this  
whatcha say?  
Mmmm what did she say?_


End file.
